How Else Will I Know That I Am Alive ?

Alive * by Mari Rum

How else will I know that I am alive, unless I close my eyes and see? See my tears run down my throat, causing my breath to catch inside of me. Making me die temporarily, How else will I know that I am alive, if I cannot feel? With your light fingers on my skin, your hands tell of a love unmatched. How else will I know that I am alive, if I cannot taste your lips on mine, see myself in your eyes, hear my name on your breath? And how will I know that I am alive, If you do not hurt me? You pull at my heart and tear it out of my chest. You throw it up high in the air and I jerk ... with fear, in pain, with excitement, in agony ... Tell me how will I know that I am alive, if my breath is not taken away every-time you look at me, smile at me, touch me? Tell me, how am I to know that I have a heart, if I cannot feel it beat? Feel it flutter with the joys of first love, feel it crushed with the pains of fast love. How else am I to know that I can feel, if you do not show me? Who will help me feel alive if not you? Choose any way you want to show, Pain, love, loss, failure... all I want to feel is alive! alive! alive!

How else does one know that they are alive, unless from the pain that one feels deep inside? How else will I know that my hear has a beat, unless you step all over it with your feet? How else will I know that I am alive, unless from the pain I feel when you walk all, over my bared heart with your heels? Tell me how I'll know of the blood in my veins, If you do not show me with that knife in your hands. To feel pain is to realize the truth, I have something to gain from my pain. You hurt me, I bleed, You lie to me, I break, You die, I cry. My pain is my gift. The mirror of life, In it I see my reflection, as alive as can be. I revel in the feel of my hot tears, running down my cheeks, down my neck, down my chest. The feel of me. They suffocate me, I choke, I scream, I gnaw, I bite, I scratch, I feel all, because I am alive. The sear of pain running down your chest. A pain from your head to your toes. Then I know, I am, I was, I will be, I have been, I am in ... the process. I am alive, alive, alive, alive, alive. But tell me how else does one know that they are alive, unless from the pain?

The World I Live In : Have * Will *

Have * Will * by Mari Rum.

Have breakfast will skip	Have Facebook will friend
Have condoms will fuck	Have hours will work
Have money will spend	Have blemish will obsess
Have gossip will spread	Have lips will kiss
Have minutes will text	Have pole will strip
Have secrets will hide	Have life will breathe
Have worries will pray	Have dreams will hope
Have music will dance	Have time will waste
Have jealousy will hate	Have fear will fake
Have misconception will judge	Have joy will smile
Have heart ♥ will love	Have friend will bond
Have God will pray	Have booze will drink

Papier collé 01 : The Dream Issue - They Said It ...

“As soon as anyone starts telling you to be “realistic,” cross that person off your invitation list.”
~ John Eliot

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."
~ Anaïs Nin

"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams."
~ Oprah Winfrey

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
~ Pope John XXIII

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
~ Franz Kafka

“The question is not who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me?”
~ Ayn Rand

"Just. Do . It."
~ Nike

Credits :- Quote-Endquote , - Nike , - Brainy Quote

Papier collé 01 : The Dream Issue - What The Heck is a Papier Collé

I've always though that the world when we're born, is like a blank canvas that we're meant to drawn on, paint over, stick things on, rip apart, sew back together, over and over again through out the years. To me, at the end of one's life your blank canvas is meant to be a beautiful collage of diverse elements.

That's where my inspiration for papier collé , came from. I've always wanted to work on a magazine and I thought why not? For me the name papier collé , which is French for pasted paper and is a type of collage technique, embodies the attitude that life is messy, sticky and made up of so many different bits and pieces.

Papier collé celebrates the awkward, creative,  original, painful, amazing, bold and rebellious bits of life through articles, stories, pics, videos and more.

Every month, we'll have a different issue dealing with a specific topic, if you've got any content you'd like to get featured in the zine let us know by shooting us an email at ink_inabottle@yahoo.com. Next issue is the "Body Image Issue".

On the "They said it" page you'll find seven inspiring quotes related to the issue of the month and on the "Catalyst" page, you'll find inspiring bits and pieces about people out there who will inspire and spark a reaction in you, hopefully ;).

Dear readers this issue, you are the catalyst! Dig deep and find the dreamer in you and act. Remind yourself of the reasons that you wanted to do what you wanted to in the first place. And most importantly, you owe it to yourself to give it a try so throw away all those reasons why you can't and take a leap of faith.

~ A. Smarts
(Editor - in -chief)

"Life's a collage, get to gluing!"

Next: Where'd all the dreamers go?

Papier collé 01 : The Dream Issue - Where'd All The Dreamers Go?

Growing up, I was convinced that I would become a fashion-designing-artist-singer-programmer person who would also be a cross between Princess Diana and Mother Teresa. These were the things I wanted to do with my life : art, fashion, writing , programming , charity and music.

Many years later, I'm still not there yet.

I vividly remember my childhood self, cutting up my own clothes, when my mum wasn't looking of course, to make clothes for my Barbies. My room was littered with fashion magazines and sketchbooks with designs for fashion lines I'd created. I remember, in primary school, my bestfriend and I made a Minnie Mouse zine that we sold to our friends. Whenever I wasn't doing art you'd find me singing along to Whitney, Mariah, Yvonne Chaka-Chaka, Lucky Dube, Koffi Olomide... all the while imagining what an elaborate performer I would one day become.

I like to think I was a bold child, at least in terms of where my imagination could go. So what happened to that little dreamer girl with dreams bigger than herself?

Well, I hate to say it but she grew up! I grew up. I got busy, my priorities changed, and somewhere along the way to adulthood, I let go of my dreams. A couple of months ago, while I was on the phone with my mum, I realised that it has been about 3 years since I’d picked up a pencil to sketch a design or a paint brush to do some art.It wasn't for lack of trying, I just seemed to have lost the drive, confidence and ferocity that I’d chased my dreams with when I was a child.

I've always felt that as we enter adulthood and start to become more aware of the world around us  something happens that strips us of the naïveté and innocence of childhood and I guess that's the moment we begin to doubt ourselves. We begin to realise that we're adults and it is time to be 'realistic' whatever the world's definition of that is. As children we have the audacity of hope, uh I'm gonna steal that Obama please don't sue me!. As children, we don't fear the word "no", we just do things as we please and as we see fit because the fears that plague us in adulthood aren't there to inhibit our creativity.

We're not worrying about rent, we're not panicking that we're almost 25 and haven't done anything with our lives, we're just doing whatever the heck we want with absolutely no inhibition. I miss that.

But the beautiful and sometimes annoying thing about dreams is that no matter what, they won't leave you alone until you give them a chance. Even though I am not actively pursing my dreams I am constantly bombarded by ideas for fashion, stories, crazy projects and I find myself constantly planning and plotting in my head. The thing is that there's two kinds of dreamers in this world; the ones who do just that, dream, and the ones who bring their dreams to life. I think that i've mastered category number one and now it's time for me to discover what it feels like to be in the latter.

You've got to try and make your dreams come true in anyway that you can. Start small. Do things how you want to do them. The only person who should dictate your dreams should be you. I'm not saying that I'm going to be the next Beyoncé, but that doesn't mean that I should stop singing all together. Who knows, I could still rock out in someone's garage band! The thing that matters is that many years from now, I will look back and the most important thing will be that at least I tried.

Next: They said it...

Papier collé 01 : The Dream Issue - Editor's Note

Editor's Note:

"If an unmet dream was meant to be, it'll never let you be"
~ A. Smarts <3

Hey there! Welcome to the first issue of papier collé, our zine that celebrates creative rebelliousness, self-expression and open-mindedness. This issue is for the dreamers amongst us! Lots of times in life we get opportunities to live out our dreams but seldom ever take them. To be fair it's not always in our control; lots of things contribute to our lack of enthusiasm for our dreams but the thing about dreams, especially ones that were really meant to be, is that they'll never let you rest until you fulfill them or atleast take a go at them.
And isn't that the most important thing about dreams, taking a go at them? So here's to following my dreams, and to you following yours! Click on the links in the table of contents to read more, don't forget to comment or tweet to let us know what you think.

~ A. Smarts
(Editor - in -chief)

Tweet @Rum_n_Smarts

Table of contents:

Parlez-vous français? What the heck is a papier collé? Where'd all the dreamers go? They said it...