How Else Will I Know That I Am Alive ?

Alive * by Mari Rum

How else will I know that I am alive, unless I close my eyes and see? See my tears run down my throat, causing my breath to catch inside of me. Making me die temporarily, How else will I know that I am alive, if I cannot feel? With your light fingers on my skin, your hands tell of a love unmatched. How else will I know that I am alive, if I cannot taste your lips on mine, see myself in your eyes, hear my name on your breath? And how will I know that I am alive, If you do not hurt me? You pull at my heart and tear it out of my chest. You throw it up high in the air and I jerk ... with fear, in pain, with excitement, in agony ... Tell me how will I know that I am alive, if my breath is not taken away every-time you look at me, smile at me, touch me? Tell me, how am I to know that I have a heart, if I cannot feel it beat? Feel it flutter with the joys of first love, feel it crushed with the pains of fast love. How else am I to know that I can feel, if you do not show me? Who will help me feel alive if not you? Choose any way you want to show, Pain, love, loss, failure... all I want to feel is alive! alive! alive!

How else does one know that they are alive, unless from the pain that one feels deep inside? How else will I know that my hear has a beat, unless you step all over it with your feet? How else will I know that I am alive, unless from the pain I feel when you walk all, over my bared heart with your heels? Tell me how I'll know of the blood in my veins, If you do not show me with that knife in your hands. To feel pain is to realize the truth, I have something to gain from my pain. You hurt me, I bleed, You lie to me, I break, You die, I cry. My pain is my gift. The mirror of life, In it I see my reflection, as alive as can be. I revel in the feel of my hot tears, running down my cheeks, down my neck, down my chest. The feel of me. They suffocate me, I choke, I scream, I gnaw, I bite, I scratch, I feel all, because I am alive. The sear of pain running down your chest. A pain from your head to your toes. Then I know, I am, I was, I will be, I have been, I am in ... the process. I am alive, alive, alive, alive, alive. But tell me how else does one know that they are alive, unless from the pain?